@ 70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Michigan swim in the Lakes.
@ 60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
@ 50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan plant gardens.
@ 40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.
@ 32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Erie water gets thicker.
@ 20 degrees
Floridians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a hoody.
@ 15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
@ 10 degrees
People in Miami all die.
Wolverines lick the flagpole.
@ 0 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
@ -10 degrees
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
@ -25 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold
@ -30 degrees
Mount St. Helen's freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.
@ -40 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Spartans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
@ -45 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.
@ -60 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
@ -100 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl!