I lovvve telemarketers. - Router Forums
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post #1 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 01:36 PM Thread Starter
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Default I lovvve telemarketers.

Today I learned how to stop worrying, and love telemarketers. I always thought they were a plague upon us, perhaps for having done something really, really, evil, in a previous. Now I consider them a blessing in disguise.

My phone shows callers, so when I got a number I didn't recognize this morning, I knew it was one of the demon telemarketers, and it did not make me happy. But I answered, intending to vent some of my ire on whoever. Well, it was a girl/woman, from the accent Pakistani or in that region of the world. Claimed she was calling from General Electric, and their monitoring showed that my home security system was outdated, and needed to be replace. A GE light bulb went on over my head. Instead of a tirade, I decide it would be more enjoyable to try to dazzle her with footwork, and if that didn't work, at least baffle her with BS. So, I told her in a cheery voice, that my security system was brand new. This definitely baffled her. So she asked if it is new, and I replied again that yes, it was brand new, no way it was outdated. Then she wished me a nice day, and hung up.

I have found the silver lining in the telemarketer cloud. Whatever they are calling about, up the ante on them. Pile on the BS with a large scoop. I was smiling for half an hour after that call. Now I no longer dread telemarketers calling. Why should I? I discovered a new way of having FUN today. Life is basically good.

"It ain't what you're told, it's what you know." - Granny Weatherwax
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.....Call me a craftsman, artisan, or artistic, and I will accept that. Call me an artist and you will likely get a quite rude comment in return. I am not a @#$%ing artist.
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post #2 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 01:54 PM
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That's always fun and I do similar things, Theo.

If I answer, and that's a big if, I answer by saying, 'IT Department'. When they tell me the security or software on my computer has been hacked I remind them they have reached the IT Department and nothing could be further from the truth. I let them talk and engage in small talk with them, at some point telling them we need to talk for another 30 seconds so the trace will go through. They hang up almost immediately and I just crack up!

David
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post #3 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
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That's always fun and I do similar things, Theo.

If I answer, and that's a big if, I answer by saying, 'IT Department'. When they tell me the security or software on my computer has been hacked I remind them they have reached the IT Department and nothing could be further from the truth. I let them talk and engage in small talk with them, at some point telling them we need to talk for another 30 seconds so the trace will go through. They hang up almost immediately and I just crack up!

David
That is great. That is what I need to do, stretch their patience as far as possible, then maybe tell them about a trace. And to think, all those telemarketer calls, and I never realized the fun they could be. Maybe eventually they will fade away. The Jehovah's Witnesses haven't been here in I don't know how many years, and can't understand why. They wanted to discuss their religion, so I listened. However, did talk on the porch, and I got a chair for me from the house, but none for them. They left after about an hour. For good. Hehehe Yep, life is basically good.
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"It ain't what you're told, it's what you know." - Granny Weatherwax
Fawkahwe tribal police SWAT Team
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
.....Call me a craftsman, artisan, or artistic, and I will accept that. Call me an artist and you will likely get a quite rude comment in return. I am not a @#$%ing artist.
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post #4 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 02:48 PM
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There is an old ruse for telemarketers. Answer the phone and give it to a three year old!
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post #5 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 03:23 PM Thread Starter
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There is an old ruse for telemarketers. Answer the phone and give it to a three year old!
I'm 77, figure that's close enough.
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"It ain't what you're told, it's what you know." - Granny Weatherwax
Fawkahwe tribal police SWAT Team
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
.....Call me a craftsman, artisan, or artistic, and I will accept that. Call me an artist and you will likely get a quite rude comment in return. I am not a @#$%ing artist.
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post #6 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 03:49 PM
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... SWMBO fell for a bit of a scam when a vacuum cleaner sales company used false advertising to get an appointment to visit. He went through his gimmicky presentation comparing our Beam built-in to his waaaaay overpriced canister machine.
After he wound up his spiel he asked, "Wouldn't you rather have our more efficient machine?" Wifey and I looked at each other, "No."
"What?! Why not?"
Us; "What for? We have an 80lb dog that comes in and out multiple times a day. The carpets are never going to be any cleaner than they already are."
Sales guy had no response.
(Cheeky bast*rd used our phone to check in with his office; we could hear him getting reamed out for not making a sale.)
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post #7 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 04:00 PM
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(Cheeky bast*rd used our phone to check in with his office; we could hear him getting reamed out for not making a sale.)
That happened to us about 9 years ago. We had a spot on the carpet and I couldn't get it clean. So the guy said he could get it clean if I would let him demo his machine. After about 45 minutes of working and cleaning and talking he asked if I wanted to buy one of his machines. I thanked him and said 'no'. So he looked at Sandy and asked her (which did not please her at all) and she said, 'he said no, I'm good with that.'

So the guy asked if he could call his office and tell them he didn't make the sale (that's supposed to make us feel bad - didn't work). I asked if it was a local call and he said yes (at the time I had long distance blocked on the land line). He starts making his call and it won't go through so he turns to me and said the phone call won't go through. He has the gall to tell me, 'you said I could use the phone, you didn't say it doesn't work.' Which led perfectly for me to say, 'you said it was a local call - long distance is blocked on that line.' I just smiled as he quietly picked his things up and left.

Sometimes it's just fun to watch people dig their own holes.

David

PS - he got the spot out of the rug
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post #8 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 04:43 PM
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I had a call telling there was something wrong with my windows, i told them i had just replace them and look real good, i keep talk house windows he keep trying tell about microsoft windows he finally told me I was too stupid to understand and hung up
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post #9 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 06:12 PM
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Several years ago I got a phone call at work and recognizes the number as one that had called several times before. I had never let them get past their opening sentence before, but this one day I was feeling like messing with someone so I let them go on with the spiel about my car warranty expiring. As I recall, I needed to call them back at a different number, which I did. I explained that I was calling because I had just received a very strange call telling me that my car warranty would expire in just a few days, and I didn't know how that could be.
"Ok, sir, what kind of car do you have?"
Hmmmm, I explained that THEY had called me and therefore should know what kind of car I have. Then I said, "It's a 1970 Ford Maverick...if you can tell me how in hell I have ANY warranty on that car, I'll listen to you. If you can't then never, ever call my number again. She hung up.
I never did get another of those calls though. (For the purpose of being truthful, let me explain that this is VERY cleaned up from what I really said to her...VERY.)
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post #10 of 61 (permalink) Old 02-16-2018, 06:12 PM
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David/John;; love the anecdotes!
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