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post #2981 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-27-2018, 12:46 PM
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This would have been the week that I'd have finished chewing thru the restraints...
If only new layers hadn't been added....

Stick....
Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
"SNORK Mountain Congressional Library and Taxidermy”
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post #2982 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-30-2018, 01:57 AM
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This would have been the week that I'd have finished chewing thru the restraints...
If only new layers hadn't been added....

Stick....
Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
"SNORK Mountain Congressional Library and Taxidermy”
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post #2983 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-30-2018, 02:39 AM
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Or the feral dogs...
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post #2984 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-30-2018, 02:43 AM
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Or the feral dogs...
or a feral cat that'll mark it's territory...
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This would have been the week that I'd have finished chewing thru the restraints...
If only new layers hadn't been added....

Stick....
Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
"SNORK Mountain Congressional Library and Taxidermy”
Stick486 is online now  
post #2985 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-30-2018, 10:28 AM
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I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My lady friend walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said 'nothing’. The reason I said 'nothing' instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she then would have asked 'about what?’At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they “know”. Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really "know", here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap in that hammock

Making sawdust regularly, occasionally a project is completed.
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post #2986 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-30-2018, 11:12 AM
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Or the feral dogs...
Please Lord, not feral Chihuahuas.
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"It ain't what you're told, it's what you know." - Granny Weatherwax
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
Call me a craftsman, artisan, or artistic, and I will accept that. Call me an artist and you will likely get a quite rude comment in return. I am not a @#$%ing artist.
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post #2987 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-30-2018, 11:19 AM
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Young guy was taking the physical to join the military. The doctor came up to him and saw he had a scar from one shoulder, across his body, and down to the hip. The doctor asked, "What caused that?" The young man says, "Walked into a glass door." The doctor said, "That must have really hurt." The young man says, "Yep, third worst pain in my life." The doctor was astonished, and asked, "If that was the third worst pain, what was the second?" The young man says, "I was deer hunting, and had to go. Turned out I had squatted directly on a bear trap." The doctor was open mouthed at this, and asked, "If that was the second worst pain, what was the first?" And the young man replied, "When I reached the end of the chain."

"It ain't what you're told, it's what you know." - Granny Weatherwax
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
Call me a craftsman, artisan, or artistic, and I will accept that. Call me an artist and you will likely get a quite rude comment in return. I am not a @#$%ing artist.
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post #2988 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-30-2018, 05:42 PM
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The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name sailor?”
“John,” the new seaman replied.
“Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled.
“It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever.
And you are to refer to me as ‘Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?”
“Aye, Aye, Chief!”
“Now that we’ve got that straight, what’s your last name?”
The seaman sighed. “Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief.”
“Okay, John, here’s what I want you to do ….”
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post #2989 of 3416 (permalink) Old 08-30-2018, 07:37 PM
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or a feral cat that'll mark it's territory...
....eeewwwww
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post #2990 of 3416 (permalink) Old 09-03-2018, 02:40 AM
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The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new seaman and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name sailor?”
“John,” the new seaman replied.
“Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled.
“It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever.
And you are to refer to me as ‘Chief.’ Do I make myself clear?”
“Aye, Aye, Chief!”
“Now that we’ve got that straight, what’s your last name?”
The seaman sighed. “Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief.”
“Okay, John, here’s what I want you to do ….”
That could well be true, when I was in the royal Air Force a friend of mine, Roger Darling was a medic and all the young National service nurses were commissioned officers and one day a nurse called out "Darling" and without hesitation he replied "yes sweetheart" and apparently she turned beetroot red.

Harry



Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. - Plautus






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