Global ression - Router Forums
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-19-2016, 07:02 AM Thread Starter
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Default Global ression

GLOBAL RECESSION


The recession has hit everybody really hard.
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.








kp91, rcp612, vindaloo and 15 others like this.

Harry



Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. - Plautus






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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-19-2016, 12:34 PM
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That's hilarious Harry.

Someone I consider a master woodworker once told me that a master woodworker is not someone who never makes mistakes. He is someone who is able to cover them up so that no one can tell.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-19-2016, 06:57 PM
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Some good funnies there, Harry.

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits". Albert Einstein
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-20-2016, 06:16 AM
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sure gave me a chuckle and put a grin on my face early this morn. much pleasure and thanks.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-20-2016, 03:30 PM
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I think this is the best yet! I'm showing it around my circle.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-20-2016, 04:55 PM
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Very good Harry
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-22-2016, 08:05 PM
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Humorous, Harry. Glad You're back

We, woodworkers are everywhere!!!
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 01-23-2016, 08:09 AM
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Those are good, Harry. A guy called the suicide hotline once and they put him on hold!

John T.
Equestrians are stable people.
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