|Topic Review (Newest First)|
|Today 04:07 AM|
well at least she didn't clobber me.... |
|Yesterday 01:44 AM|
Tray Tables Stowed!!! Seats in the Upright Position!!! |
Heads down is optional....
|09-23-2020 01:56 PM|
Subject: British Humor |
BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
**** And the WINNER is... ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
|09-22-2020 06:02 PM|
now my dogs are getting ganged up on... |
|09-22-2020 05:59 PM|
Originally Posted by DaninVan View Post
|09-22-2020 08:12 AM|
I see an ER visit momentarily... |
(And that's not even considering the bare feet)
|09-22-2020 02:25 AM|
I was... |
|09-22-2020 02:20 AM|
Originally Posted by jw2170 View Post
|09-22-2020 01:48 AM|
Originally Posted by Stick486 View Post
...but the food would be better,,,,,,,,
|09-22-2020 12:19 AM|
jst another day at the office... |
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