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  Topic Review (Newest First)
Today 04:07 AM
Stick486 well at least she didn't clobber me....

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Yesterday 01:44 AM
Stick486 Tray Tables Stowed!!! Seats in the Upright Position!!!
Heads down is optional....

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09-23-2020 01:56 PM
Herb Stoops Subject: British Humor


BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT


These are classified ads, which were placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!


FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.


FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.



JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
Must sell washer and dryer 100.



WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.



**** And the WINNER is... ****



FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, 200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.


Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Children Are Quick



TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
__________________________________

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
09-22-2020 06:02 PM
Stick486 now my dogs are getting ganged up on...

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09-22-2020 05:59 PM
Stick486
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaninVan View Post
I see an ER visit momentarily...
(And that's not even considering the bare feet)
serves him right for using a Makita....
09-22-2020 08:12 AM
DaninVan I see an ER visit momentarily...
(And that's not even considering the bare feet)
09-22-2020 02:25 AM
Stick486 I was...

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09-22-2020 02:20 AM
Stick486
Quote:
Originally Posted by jw2170 View Post
...but the food would be better,,,,,,,,
which house????
09-22-2020 01:48 AM
jw2170
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stick486 View Post
walk into the wrong house and 2 days later it hasn't occurred to you that you're in the wrong house...



...but the food would be better,,,,,,,,
09-22-2020 12:19 AM
Stick486 jst another day at the office...

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