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  Topic Review (Newest First)
Today 12:57 AM
DaninVan Family time; so important!
Yesterday 11:00 PM
chessnut2 Sorry bout that. It showed up in the preview, but I guess that was because I was still signed into gmail.
Yesterday 09:06 PM
Stick486
Quote:
Originally Posted by chessnut2 View Post
We all went to visit Grandma. She was so pleased to see us. She's getting old, and her eyesight is waning.

We wanted to help her enjoy this final stage of her life, have quality time with her, and enjoy our visits to help remember her when she's gone.

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=...d=ii_jym6tg9r0
where is the link suppose to take you other than a Gmail sign up...
Yesterday 08:56 PM
chessnut2 We all went to visit Grandma. She was so pleased to see us. She's getting old, and her eyesight is waning.

We wanted to help her enjoy this final stage of her life, have quality time with her, and enjoy our visits to help remember her when she's gone.

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=...d=ii_jym6tg9r0
02-26-2020 07:18 AM
harrysin While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks her husband, in very seductive voice, ”Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”

"No," said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled twenty dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly. She then asked him, "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?"

"Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into her panties, and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled fifty dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

Now,” she said, "have you ever seen fifty-thousand dollars all crumpled up?"

He said, "No!," trying to contain his excitement.

She said, "Check the garage."
02-25-2020 09:57 AM
tulowd Saw this on Facebook yesterday and thought of everyone on here:
02-24-2020 06:37 PM
kp91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herb Stoops View Post
1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

11. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

12. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
This one must have been around a LONG time, some of those references are pretty dated!

Still funny, though!
02-24-2020 04:47 PM
DaninVan Is there a right answer, Herb?
02-24-2020 02:08 AM
Herb Stoops You realize you need another Lawyer if.....

1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

6. He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."

7. A prison guard is shaving your head.

8. Every couple of minutes during the initial interview he stands up and yells,
"I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

9. He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

10. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

11. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."

12. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.

13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

14. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

15. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

16. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

17. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
02-23-2020 02:25 AM
harrysin Severe Weather Canada

Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Newfoundland.

She said that since early this morning, the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping far below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let the drunken bastard in.
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