Not Saws and Things - Router Forums
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-18-2018, 10:40 AM Thread Starter
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Default Not Saws and Things

Hi there Fraternity

My new cars getting wet.... mmm, nothing. Our new cars getting wet.... no response. Your new cars getting wet. What came the immediate reply. Yes, dear your car that I wash, valet, get serviced, fill with petrol, insure, put tyres on and Uber you about, that car. Do you think I said out loud any of the last statement, do you think I would be able to write this post if I had? Why is it getting wet? The car ports leaking. Well it wouldnít be getting wet if it was parked in the garage, would it. Here we go I thought. No dear. If you hadnít filled up the garage with saws and things it would be dry. Yes dear.

Whatís wrong anyway. Itís the polycarbonate roof its shot. Itís been affected by years of uv sunlight and itís turned opaque and brittle. Very much like myself I muttered. Itís a natural accumulation of 46 years married. Can you not repair it? Not after 46 years, impossible task I thought inwardly. No passed that. Itís either replace the roof, or empty the garage of quote, saws and things.

That works for me she said with a hint of delight edging around the statement and a lot cheaper than replacing the roof. I realised too late that my brain hadnít quite caught up with my big mouth. Desperate situations require equally desperate solutions. Yes dear, itís win win all around I offered. What do you mean she enquired? Well with my workshop gone I will be able to spend much more time in here with you, all day in fact.

So, lads let me tell you about my budget free new car port roof.

Original one was 3inch polycarbonate which did a decent job for about seven years but time and weather was its enemy. I was not able to get a decent run on the roof and the sheets only came in 3 metres and my roof was 4.5 metres. So, had a joint in the middle, which suffered horribly from capillary attraction.

Decided to go down a more industrial route now the financial shackles had been loosened a bit. Decided on a 0.7mm metal sheet and local company supplied the lot including flashings and fixings, with sheets cut to my 4.5metre exact size, delivered to my door. Also went for the anti-condensation coating on the underside, didnít want her new car getting drips on it.

Original wood framing was still in good condition and after an hour on U Tube I found the install fairly straight forward. Took two days exactly to install and it certainly has a substantial feel to it.

Installation is quite straightforward, just 2-inch self-tapping water sealed screws into the joists, that come with a hardened drill point. All you need is a socket into your cordless and away you go. Joint the flashings to the roof with the same screws but 1 inch. Plastic rain caps finish it off. Flashings on the corners are just cut with tin snips and bent over on my workbench.

Being a plumber, it went against the grain to screw the fixings into the water path, but thatís what the instructions say.

The anti-condensation coating is just a spray on hairy flock effect that doesnít stop the condensation forming but does not let it drip and guides it to the end of the sheet. £70 extra, worth it as alternative insulating panels which were ridiculously priced, and at the end of the day itís a car port.

Cost was £550 delivered. I had rough estimates of £1500 -£2000 for the complete installation.
Now if you will excuse me lads the Uber driver has a car to wash

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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-18-2018, 10:57 AM
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Well done Colin, well done. And the carport too. Next time something like that comes up, try to find a couple of teenagers that will work cheap, then all you need to do is sit in a chair, with a cool one, and supervise. And if the wife complains about you just sitting, you can threaten her with your company again.
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.....Call me a craftsman, artisan, or artistic, and I will accept that. Call me an artist and you will likely get a quite rude comment in return. I am not a @#$%ing artist.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-18-2018, 11:04 AM
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you have your act together and then some Colin..

This would have been the week that I'd have finished chewing thru the restraints...
If only new layers hadn't been added....

Forget the primal scream, just ROAR!!!
"SNORK Mountain Congressional Library and TaxidermyĒ
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-18-2018, 11:27 AM
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Ah, the universal truths of wife.

The more I do, the less I accomplish.
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-19-2018, 11:53 AM
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Brilliant solution to say nothing of the lead in.

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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-19-2018, 10:15 PM
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Well done, Colin, both in monologue and installation.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-19-2018, 10:42 PM
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Nicely done.

Rockhampton, Queensland, Australia

Enjoy the knowledge of others that can be found within.

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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-19-2018, 11:32 PM
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I'd thought of putting that up on a porch over the front of the shed I've turned into my outdoor office space. Couldn't locate a source where I live with long enough aluminum. I think it's a great solution. I'm also very fond of your writing ability. I'm a journalist by training and write a lot still. Being funny is one thing, but being amusing is more subtle and difficult.

The more I do, the less I accomplish.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 05-20-2018, 08:23 AM
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Alas, my Garage is also a workshop. Sadly (for my wife) we are not allowed to build car ports.
And so, it gets rained on.
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