A Poor Retired Plumbers Take on a Taco

Hi there fraternity.

Just really getting back into production since my accident and it has taken a little longer than I expected, so here goes on my first post-accident project.

As everyone knows Taco’s were invented by a Scotsman and not by as originally thought a Mexican’s. You may scoff at this statement, but I have absolute proof as I am about to divulge.

Now once upon a time there was a young Scots lass called Heather who lived with her husband who I think was called Conner, of the Clan MacLeod, this was during the time of the Highland clearances.

Now Conner had just informed his wife he was hungry and asked her to griddle some pancakes (another Scottish delicacy), but that’s another story.


Now because the English were trying to starve everyone out of the highlands pancake mix was in short supply and poor Heather only had a small amount left. She did her best and had to spread the batter really thinly.

Conner who was outside swinging his sword about, could smell the cooking, came in all expectantly.

To his horror he could only see one very thin pancake, where’s the other one he asked. Heather replied. There can only be one.

Heather asked Conner to tend to the pancake as she had to go to Loch Lomond to fetch a pail of water.

Now unfortunately Conner was not up to date with another Clan Scotsman, Gordon Ramsay and didn’t have a clue as to cooking a pancake, any way he decided to go outside and practice his sword swing again,

He nipped back inside much later, and to his horror his extra thin pancake had curled up at the edges. Heather will kill me he thought. He made the decision to try and flatten it out with the flat edge of his sword, but it stubbornly curled up again. Panic was setting in. Its too hot he thought and slipped the blade under it and ran outside. By this time the pancake had drooped over the blade and solidified in the cold Scottish air. I really am dead he thought, just as Sweet Heather came down the hill with a bucket of water.

What’s that she enquired, it’s the pancake he murmured. That’s a good idea she replied, what’s a good idea he asked. Well you know how my chili keeps falling off my pancakes, yes, he nodded, well this new shape is perfect, well done my clever husband.
I rest my case.


So now I have convinced all the sceptics in the forum I shall turn my attention to the making of a Scottish Taco holder.
Now the photos tell most of the story, apart from all the disasters, so where to begin.

About fifteen years ago I stripped out an old kitchen for a customer and decided to keep all the doors etc. The reason being Oak is impossibly expensive over here in Scotland and I have been working my way through the doors over the years, of about 20 or so I had two left, now I have none.

The first of the two doors were cut and went through the planer with disastrous results. I did not realise that’s the boor blanks are just laminated together with crap wood and when I stripped them, I found them full of shakes, holes and cracks that were carefully covered during manufacturing.

The second and last door I started with 60 grit and finished with 240, and much better. I did mange to remove all the clear coat.
The handles were a tenner for fifteen from Amazon.

I only had to make one jig which was for drilling the angled holes for the side handles.

I am not going through the manufacture of the boards as its quite obvious from the enclosed photos.

While I was cursing and swearing in the workshop my good wife was busy creating another Scottish mouth-watering delight, yes, a sausage roll. Can’t get them or the Forfar bridie when visiting my son in Houston, plenty of Taco’s though.


Consumer Warning

As you feast your eyes on my culinary delights, a word of warning.

The first warning related to screw size. Never use anything shorter than 4inch. On my first attempt I found the inch and a half screws tended to tip out the end of the Taco

Second warning is the washers. They were a nightmare, kept rolling off the ends and when they hit the dining room floor they shot off in every direction. I eventually solved the problem by coating them in a good quality honing paste, similar to crème fresh.

Lastly and worst was the sawdust shavings, it spooned on without any bother, but you have to hold it absolutely horizontal, even tried the honing paste. And don’t sneeze whatever you do. I’m sticking to screws and washers.

Colin from Scotland

Back in the saddle