While exploring the site of a long abandoned 19th century Acme factory destroyed in a boiler explosion, I spotted the corner of a rusted piece of metal sticking out of the ground. Two things were immediately apparent as I excitedly dug it out and brushed off the dirt: First, it confirmed that this was indeed the site of Acme’s Chimerical Navigation Controls factory. And second, that the artifact perfectly described the kind of things I produce and would be an excellent addition to my shop. I gleefully snatched it up and took it home for restoration.
[Pull up your socks, it’s starting to get deep in here.]
The navigation controls produced at the old Acme CNC factory were used on many of the more advanced airships in the mid to late 1800’s. As I understand it, the controls were known for the unusual celluloid coatings applied to the intricate gear system which was visible through a glass window in the sealed box encasing the peculiar device. Sadly, no Acme CNC navigation devices still exist due to the the fragility of the glass and the flammable nature of the celluloid. The enormous pressures exerted by the airship steam engines often cracked the glass and exposed the gears to wayward sparks from the engine fire box. Some have said that Acme designed this flaw into the product to ensure repeat sales in a limited market.
[You really should move on. He’s clearly lying through his teeth and this is embarrassing.]
I don’t know if this piece was signage or if it was a cover plate for one of the the giant steam powered machines used on the production line. The gears are rusted solid so I have no idea of their function. Perhaps they were merely for decoration if this was actually only a sign. More research is needed on that.
[You know he’s done this before. Don’t encourage him by reading any further.]
Anyway, you can see the restoration process from the photos as I remove the rust, give it a coat of primer, and finally a fresh coat of white paint. Hmmm … I’m not sure where that last photo came from or what we’re looking at. You should probably just ignore it.
See? Busted by his own photos. He clearly produced this in his own shop. What an idiot.
.
[Pull up your socks, it’s starting to get deep in here.]
The navigation controls produced at the old Acme CNC factory were used on many of the more advanced airships in the mid to late 1800’s. As I understand it, the controls were known for the unusual celluloid coatings applied to the intricate gear system which was visible through a glass window in the sealed box encasing the peculiar device. Sadly, no Acme CNC navigation devices still exist due to the the fragility of the glass and the flammable nature of the celluloid. The enormous pressures exerted by the airship steam engines often cracked the glass and exposed the gears to wayward sparks from the engine fire box. Some have said that Acme designed this flaw into the product to ensure repeat sales in a limited market.
[You really should move on. He’s clearly lying through his teeth and this is embarrassing.]
I don’t know if this piece was signage or if it was a cover plate for one of the the giant steam powered machines used on the production line. The gears are rusted solid so I have no idea of their function. Perhaps they were merely for decoration if this was actually only a sign. More research is needed on that.
[You know he’s done this before. Don’t encourage him by reading any further.]
Anyway, you can see the restoration process from the photos as I remove the rust, give it a coat of primer, and finally a fresh coat of white paint. Hmmm … I’m not sure where that last photo came from or what we’re looking at. You should probably just ignore it.
See? Busted by his own photos. He clearly produced this in his own shop. What an idiot.
.
