[The Hobbyist]

So I have all of these red oak church pews, and the thick seat planks I acquires some time ago. I stripped off all of that foam and the two layers of fabric seat covers. I have a couple hundred pew ends and center supports made of very thick wood, I assume to also be red oak. I also have a few hundred of those back-of-the-pew Bible holders.

I have various tools, a table saw (actually two of them), handheld belt sanders and orbital sanders, bandsaws, drill presses, etc. etc. I have two planers ... a DeWalt benchtop unit and that new Grizzly Tools 20" helical planer.

I am having a mental block. What to DO with all of this wood?! My imagination reeled when I was piling them onto my trailer, but now I am just trying to look at this realistically, and figure out something that I can do as one guy working alone, to convert this HUGE pile of wood into cash. Here in Kentucky, the Wood Bee Traps are popular, but there are already too many people making them. Maybe bird feeders? Spice racks?

Some older projects are no longer viable, such as magazine holders. Who reads magazines anymore? TV trays? Vinyl record holders? Cassette tape cases? 🤪

I would like to turn it into something that I can sell. Perhaps make a few hundred ???'s and haul them off to a craft fair where I can sell them for $xx.xx each? Custom name plates and such are nice, but that is a piecemeal approach. For a flea market / swap meet situation, there would be no personalization. Just a lot of artsy-fartsy things people cannot live without 🤔

Every once in a while, I will see someone come up with a new thing that people line up to buy. While it is new and different, selling them is no problem. But it doesn't take long for the copycats to fill their booths with the same things. I remember one Christmas a few years ago, where a guy and his wife made the cutest teddy bears out of bark wrapped slices of wooden branches. He would glue or screw the basic parts together, and she would do the painted eyes and face, and such. People were standing in line to buy these things! The guy could barely make change fast enough.

I am lacking the motivation, mostly. Also, there is NO ONE who can come to help me. My good friend Dave had a massive stroke on New Year's Eve, and he is now paralyzed and basically out of commission.

What SELLS today? Birdhouses? Breadboxes? Wall clocks? I do like clocks. Maybe because I spent so much time staring at them in school. 😆 Maybe I should come up with some wall clock designs and go get the mechanisms from Hobby Lobby.

I have spent a lot of time browsing pinterest.com It certainly is an eye-candy store, but the last thing I want to do is to make a few hundred ???'s and find out that no one wants them.

I have a CNC plasma table and a CNC router table. I thought about routing the typical woodsy scenes into the BACKS of the benches (the flat side) and then inlaying either meta, or mirrored plexiglass, or ?? cut to the same shapes.

I am open to suggestions. I need to do something with this wood. I also need to find someone who can give me that kick in the ... to get out to the shops and DO SOMETHING!

Joe

 

[The Hobbyist]

You are probably right. I will consider doing that. Life sucks sometimes. just when you get set up to do projects, and SMART enough to do them without cutting a finger off, the old body says, "Yeah, uh ... NO!"

Joe

 

[The Hobbyist]

That reminds me of an old proverb...
"Give a man a..." Wait — that's not it.
"If you owe a man $5,000; he owns you. However, if you owe $500,000,000 - You own him!"
I'm not sure how that even applies, but it reminds me of it.

If you owe a man $5K he owns you. He can hound you until you pay the money back. but if you don't pay it back, it will neither make or break him.

If you owe a man $500K, you own him. He must remain on your good side, in the hopes that you WILL repay him, but if you don't pay it back, you might destroy him.

Joe

 

[The Hobbyist]

You know ... I thought about coffins. What would be better than to be buried in a coffin made from church pews ... wood that spent the majority of it's life in a church? 😁

I do like your idea though. smaller, easier to manage. Less lifting! Is there a "standard size" for the containers that are placed into these urns? I believe crematoriums place the ashes into cardboard canisters, not unlike Pringles cans, with cardboard sides and metal tops and bottoms.

It appears you make a wooden cover that slips over the remains and screws together at the bottom. I guess no hinge is needed. How many people are going to open the urn to see if their loved ones' remains are still there?

I even have a laser table to etch a plate for the front of it ... "In Loving Memory..." etc.

I can do these! I will have to go visit my local tombstone and urn salesman and see if he or she might be interested in a local source for these urns. I'm not looking for a great profit. I just want something to DO during this stupid zombie apocalypse.

THANK YOU for that great idea!

Joe

 

[The Hobbyist]

There's a thought.

Joe

 

[The Hobbyist]

I really like clocks. In a moment of macabre darkness, 😲 I envisioned an ornate wood and metal configuration working clock with an acrylic or glass hourglass built into it, that would mechanically flip over every hours, to allow the loved ones' ashes to spill into the lower chamber again, and again. The span of time would be determined by the rate of flow of the ashes through the bottleneck. Now, for ME, that would be a hoot! I'd be proud to keep time for the living after I am gone. However, I am not sure it would be a Top 10 Christmas gift item.

Joe

 

[The Hobbyist]

I think a box of ashes on a mantle is boring. What if someone were to offer this, to display the remains of the dear departed? Why can't the ashes be decorative?

"There is Uncle Cedrick. He is always doing something different ..."

Joe

Moving Sand Art | Etsy

 

[The Hobbyist]

If you would like to make memorial boxes (wooden urns) this may help.
Funeral homes like the urns to be 200 to 230 cube inches on the inside.

Bottom loading is what you’ll see in most every funeral home.

The pics I showed, the inside is 5”x5 3/4”x7 1/8”, which equals 204 cubic inches. Wall thickness I plane to is 3/4”. This Urn was a request from an individual. One of the funeral homes I make Urns for, requires inside measurements to be 4 5/8”x6 5/8”x8 7/8”. Reason is that they put the bag of ashes in a plastic box. And they set the plastic box inside the wooden urn. You can check with the funeral homes in your area, to see what size plastic box the use for the remains.

On your couples Urn, you’ll see top loading with hinges with the lid. And they are normally flocked on the inside. Because normally both partners pass at different times. And want to be laid to rest with their partner.

Another interesting note. Is that in most of the wooden Urns in your funeral homes, the bottom is 3/16" thick particle board or masonite. I make mine 3/4" thick (front, sides, top and bottom).

The standard is 200cubic inches for inside measurement. Averaging outside diameter @ 7”Hx7”Wx8 1/2”L using 3/4” wood for top, sides and 3/16” masonite bottom (my bottoms are 3/4" thick). For speed, Urn manufactures cut the miter joint on the table saw (I use a locking miter joint), cut a rabbit on one side of the board (for the bottom), then glue the sides together (you can make the box, then router a rabbit joint on the bottom side). Cut out a top piece slightly larger than the box and glue the top on, sand the sides to where the top is flush with the sides, then router the top edges to the shape desired. Spray finish. Cut the bottom piece (usually 3/16” Masonite) to fit the rabbited section on the bottom, place in the masonite bottom, drill holes for the four screws to attach the bottom. And done. That’s the production line method.

I use a local trophy shop for name plates. You can choose the size, style of name plate, type of coated finish (nickel, brass or antique), choice font type. They also predrill the corner holes if needed at no additional charge. From $7 to $10. You can use decal paper to print a silhouette image, and apply to front on one side (example; praying hands).

I charge $71 wholesale, $100 military, $149 retail. The Funeral Homes will normally charge $225 thru $275 retail.

I have not forgotten about this. I will contact my local funeral director to see if they would be interested in urn boxes made from church pews. You say 230 cubic INCHES? Hmmm ... Sot hat would be ... 5.5"x8"x5"?? Or are the actual dimensions critical?

Joe

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[The Hobbyist]

What I would do is visit some of the local Funeral Homes to see the Wooden Urns they carry. They will have a display to show people in need. This will give you a good visual of sizes and what they offer. Then introduce yourself as a woodworker that would like to make Wooden Urns for them. Mention that you have church pews that you plan to make Urns out of. Ask if you can take pictures (all of the Funeral Homes I visited had no problems with that). I got in by offering consignment. After a couple years they now pay at time of delivery. But I do offer them billing, due the 10th of the month. In your case, I would print address label to stick on the bottom, to indicate these are made from church pews. Could be a extra selling point.

I most cases, the inside dimension are to fit 200 cubic inches. This is the standard inside size for the Urns. I make two size Urns. One size to fit the plastic bag that contains the Ashes. Another size to fit the plastic box with the bag of Ashes.

To get the cubic inch. multiply inside width x length x height. example; 5.5"x8"x5"=220 cubic inches. My last post to you showed the sizes I use. Inside dimensions can vary to the need.

That is good advice. I will visit my local funeral parlor soon!

Joe

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