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post #1 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-05-2010, 01:40 PM Thread Starter
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Wink You Can Quote Me On That

Make up your own quote, and attribute it to anybody who is famous or in the news. A couple of examples:

"Nah, the bullet missed all my vital organs. It should be okay in a few minutes." - Jack Bauer, almost every Monday night.
"Ever since I started therapy, I've been afraid to pull my wedge out of the bag" - Tiger Woods, a few minutes ago.
"Holy mackerel, Buzz, they've got a Piggly Wiggly up here." - Neil Armstrong to Buzz Aldren, July 20, 1969 on the surface of the moon.

You get the idea. I'll start with this one:

"Can you lend me $20? I'll pay you back tomorrow." - Bernie Madoff, to just about everyone in the world.
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post #2 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 06:33 AM
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"Yes, I do wear elevator shoes."

--Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
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post #3 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 11:30 AM Thread Starter
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"Of course not. I am naturally tall. The camera subtracts at least 22 inches."

- Nicolas Sarkozy
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post #4 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 12:38 PM
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"I'm really the life of the party"

--Dr. Jack Kevorkian
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post #5 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 06:24 PM Thread Starter
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"Finally I'm so old I don't think about sex any more, and this happens!"

- Pope Whatshisname
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post #6 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 06:37 PM
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"Nobody dared to molest me when I was in Hitler Youth."

--- Pope Whatshisname
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post #7 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 08:28 PM Thread Starter
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"You know, I've been thinking about all those mental and emotional and addiction problems I have, and I decided that the best thing I could possibly do for myself is to get a boob job".

- Amy Winehouse
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post #8 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 08:45 PM
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"Yeah, no problem.... and who's supposed to clean up all the manure on this ark?"

--Noah
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post #9 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 10:17 PM Thread Starter
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"Bad news, Noah. The unicorns are gay."

- Noah's First Mate
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post #10 of 178 (permalink) Old 04-19-2010, 02:21 AM
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What does he mean "Do not land here?"

--Polish pilot
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